catch 22

i'm stuck in a catch 22
other than living, i see myself disagreeing with the general public.
from music to ideologies; being myself is hard.
i need to play this capitalist game.
make money and all that jazz.
public education taught me to "be myself".
public education is a feel good pill parents take to comfort themselves.
of course by now, they've been through the same system, sometimes it's even the same teachers.
we're told about these "great americans" becoming heroes for this and that, but never how they accomplished it. never taught the thought processes they went through, or the obsticals they faced. unless it had to deal with war/battle.
i'm in a catch 22, maybe i should plaster on a fake smile and be like the rest of them.
i'll deal with world situations by slapping meat on a bun for the lawer, or the marketer.
fuck.
i'm lost.