dear GENERIC EMAILER

Dear steve mr,
hello girl, sweet motha'ove pearl???

Hi! Hope that you're doing great. My name is Angelica DuBoise and I am with FreeCRM.com.
i'm feel'n great indeed, let's anagramma yer name and smoke this weed.

Since 2003 we have helped over 98,000 businesses increase sales.
oh i see all work'n no fun, you jus want me to be ninety eight thousand and one.

I see that you have just signed up, terrific! We appreciate your membership to the FreeCRM.com site for your company, This Is Steve C -- we have a great CRM system that is easy to use and manage your information.
yeah i jus signed up so what? and i don't think we're on a "membership" basis just yut. how 'bout i manage a time, where our paths cross like a wind chime.

Just as a reminder, here's our Knowledge Base and Support Center with lots of videos and information on using CRM:
ok i get it, like you'd give ah shit.

https://support.freecrm.com/support/
i'm on that, chew that fat.

I just wanted to touch base with you and see how it is going with you. Importing data from Act or another contact manager? Awesome. Getting started with a new business? Excellent. We can help you every step of the way with our affordable CRM system.
wow what a mind trip, here we are back to tha first step. you're loaded questions and meaningless answers, of course this email is just about selling me hassels and cancers.

We can even help you import your existing ACT! Goldmine or even SalesForce data into the system -- we have a number of conversion and migration services, and we can handle any kind of data formats.
i see you can handle a lot, what about this tissue knee deep in human data snot?

If you would like, I can have an account representative contact you to have a short phone call about your CRM needs and what you're looking to accomplish in the area of sales force automation and customer relationship management.
fuck that, i want ah duboise chat. you can't just bate an' switch, love'd my face then getup an' ditch. yer such a conversation controlling lil' winch.

It would be great if you could spare some time, about 15 minutes to expand on your CRM needs and the business needs of your organization.
how'bout fifteen minutes and i'll expand yer pretty lil' mind, these lil' blue hairs need represent a different breaded kind.

Would it be possible to carve out some time on your calendar?
how'bout i carve yer tombstone, i'm in tha business of mak'n signs that hang in tha ozone.

Sincerely,
Sympathies,

Angelica DuBoise
CRM ASP Inc.
angelica@crmasp.com
1-866-829-7011 // 415-874-8040
this is steve c, and obviously you know how to contact thee.